The Parable of the Two Arrows provides a helpful lesson about our response to pain and suffering from the Buddhist tradition. The message of the story is a great example of where Buddhist and Christian wisdom align. From a Christian perspective, the second arrow in the story is usually avoided through mercy and forgiveness.
The Parable of the Two Arrows
The Buddha asked his student, “If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful?”
The student answered, “Yes, of course.”
Then the Buddha asked, “If a person is struck by a second arrow, is it even more painful?”
The student replied, “Yes, two arrows are more painful than one.”
The Buddha explained, “The first arrow in life we cannot control, but the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional.”
The Meaning of the Parable of the Two Arrows
Suffering is unavoidable in life. We cannot control every event or person in our lives. We cannot avoid pain no matter how hard we try. This pain and suffering can lead us down a path of sadness, anger, and resentment. These negative reactions are natural responses to pain. This is the first arrow.
But we can control the second arrow. We can control the reaction we have to the pain of the first arrow. We can choose a positive attitude. We can choose resilience and optimism even in the face of sorrow and suffering. If we do not concentrate on our response to the pain of the first arrow, then we will experience the double pain of the second arrow and the captivity of anger and resentment.
In the Buddhist tradition avoiding the second arrow means practicing meditation and mindfulness to train ourselves to be free from any attachment to desire that causes suffering.
From a Christian perspective we can avoid the second arrow through mercy and forgiveness. Rather than anger, resentment, and violent response to the pain of the first arrow, we align ourselves with Christ’s suffering on the Cross and choose mercy over suffering.
Examples of the Two Arrows in the Lives of Children
Here are a few scenarios to help explain the two arrows:
First Arrow: Bad grade on a test.
Second Arrow: “I’m dumb and the teacher hates me.”
Avoiding the Second Arrow: “I will study harder next time.”
First Arrow: Grandfather has cancer.
Second Arrow: “Why do these things always happen to me and my family?”
Avoiding the Second Arrow: “My grandfather has cancer, will you pray for him?”
First Arrow: I didn’t get into the basketball game.
Second Arrow: “I’m terrible and I should quit.”
Avoiding the Second Arrow: “It was a close game so only a few people played and I’m going to keep working hard to earn my spot as one of the starters next year.”
Questions about the Parable of the Two Arrows
- What are some examples of sadness or anger you’ve experienced recently? How did you react?
- How well do you avoid the second arrow in life?
- List some of the recent events or circumstances in your life that you could not control.
- What do you think the common phrase “attitude is everything” means when applied to this parable?
- What is it like to hang out with someone who has a good attitude?
- Is there anyone you need to forgive today (because forgiveness frees us from the pain of the second arrow)?
Thank you to Sahil Bloom for sharing this parable with his audience.
